What's in a Name?

I flat-out stole this from Doug. (Okay with you, Doug?) I know we share a lot of the same readers so this will be a repeat to some, but I found it very amusing. (Read about the basis for this list at that Doug link.)

FORMER TITLE -- NEW TITLE

Dog walker -- Canine Circumambulation Coordinator

Massage therapist -- Relaxation Resource Manager

Meter Maid -- Public Coordinatior of Vehicular Irritation

Wal-Mart greeter -- Satisfactory Shopping Experience Initiator

Grocery bagger -- Coordinator of Product Conveyance

Tattoo artist -- Epidermal Arts Practitioner

Dog groomer -- Canine Aesthetician and Stylist

Telemarketer -- Peace and Tranquility Termination Specialist

Newspaper reporter -- Executive Disseminator of Data

Newspaper editor -- Executive Interpreter of Disseminated Data

Manicurist -- Curator of Cuticles

Bread salesman -- Counselor of Carbohydrate Consumption

Stripper -- Development Director of One-Dollar Donations

Divorce lawyer -- Alimony Alchemist

Firewood salesman -- Branch Office Biomass Broker

Nursing mother of twins -- Chief Lactation Coordinator

Window washer -- Viewtrician