In a Fog
This is what we awoke to early this morning. I'm sure glad I remembered to bring my hanging basket in last night. I meant to bring it in the night before too but forgot. Fortunately, we didn't have a frost that night but last night we sure did. This will all burn off shortly - it's 31 degrees this morning but the forecast calls for a high of about 60 degrees.
I've mentioned how much I'm enjoying Cheryl Richardson's The Unmistakable Touch of Grace. I only have a few more pages. I'm reading a library book but might have to buy it. She talks about stuff I've been feeling and believing for a few years. There are no coincidences. "Every event we experience and every person we meet has intentionally been put in our path for a reason."
What I've been challenged by lately is how to teach Simon life lessons. I'm a parent; it pains me to see my child struggle. I strongly believe in raising a self-sufficient, independent child. He is that in a lot of ways. He's got himself in a financial pickle and I'm not sure what to do about it.
I step back and see the big picture. I know that he got himself into this situation because he insisted he could handle it. Now it's overwhelming him (and me). Do I step in and help? If so, when? To what degree?
So I'm just trying to be quiet and let the answer come to me because I know it will. It always does.
Universe - show me what's next.
posted by Stefani at 6:36 AM
5 Comments:
Yes, Cheryl's new book is a keeper. You can get try half.com, Powells.com, or Amazon (used) for a less expensive copy if you don't want to pay retail.
Re: Simon ... could you perhaps help him with brainstorming and evaluating his options and coming up with a strategy? In other words, offer to 'coach' him in how to look at the situation, come up with some solutions and a plan, and, as a bonus ... help him understand why this happened and how he can keep it from happening in the future? A very tall order for a parent, I know ... but the 'Socratic' method of asking some good questions so he can come up with his own solution (even if you know the answer), and expressing your confidence in him and his ability to work through and resolve this could be one approach to take.
As the parent of a 19-year-old son, I empathize ... it's not easy ... we just do the best we can.
Thanks, Maria, that's good advice. I feel like I've done that stuff to some extent. I keep asking him about his plan and he says he doesn't have one. Let's consider what the options are, I say. I feel like I'm waiting for the big light bulb to go off for him. About getting a second job with more hours - he seems to logically understand that is necessary, but in his heart he can't get past the fact that he HAS a job. He fulfilled my request of getting a job - why should he have to get another? He's stuck. It's getting harder and harder to express confidence in him - but I do.
It's not easy parenting. Sigh.
Can he sell the car and get a less expensive one? Does he have a loan on it through the bank? I'd only step in if he is in danger of losing the car and it would leave him with a bad credit report. He's too young to have that over his head.
Simon seems very bright. I'm betting he has already learned a lot by this situation.
Hope your answer comes soon!
Stef, I wouldn't step in at all. From a Mom who fixed things for her kid for far too long... Offer advice, don't bail him out.
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