Suspension

The weirdest thing has happened. The part of my brain that knows how to take pictures has taken a hike. The last few times I've attempted to take pictures, they have turned out lousy, even after numerous attempts, and I don't know how to fix them. Weird. Let's hope this passes.

Meanwhile I give you "Suspended Snowflake". I made a batch of these today, most of which are for Steve to give his staff and co-workers. Yes, the ones I thought I was going to make Monday. See what I mean about the "can always do it tomorrow" syndrome? Mom, these are the same ones I made for you but I engineered these a whole new way that is much better. Sorry yours were less than perfect but thanks for being my guinea pig.

I wanted to photograph this, rather than scan it, to show you how the snowflake is suspended on fishing line in the square cut out in the front. The inside of the card is a 3rd blue to provide a different background for the snowflake and to cover the fishing line attachment part.

Today was a good day, therefore once again proving my alternating good day/bad day theory. I finally figured out what my main problem is. I feel like I'm in waiting mode and that's all I can do is wait, nothing else. I'm so mad at myself for not using this gift of time more productively. Then I get off my own back by considering the circumstances and the energy my body requires to contend with this skanky gall bladder. And the mental gymnastics I'm going through are apparently pretty common from what Gretchen says. So overall, I'm just relaxing and going with the flow. Steve always tells me life doesn't have to be all about being productive; down time is good too.

I ventured out for a bit today to buy gifts for my nephews and stock up on more food, largely for me, but for the family as well. This weekend is a scheduled grocery shopping weekend but I know that won't be happening, being post surgery and with the holiday and all. After being home for almost 2 weeks solid, other than the three doctors' appointments, it's weird being out. Kind of overstimulating or something.

I also decided today to stop worrying about what people will think if I leave the house or don't lie around in bed all the time. I've been feeling ridiculously guilty for feeling fairly good this week. Simon calls the fact that I'm on short-term disability this week, a "scam". He's kidding, of course. I decided today that I've already wasted far more brain cells on this guilt than anyone else has ever spent giving my situation any thought. I definitely made the right decision for me, in not working this week. It's just a week of work, not the end of the world, not an indicator of my moral fiber or internal fortitude. It's just a week with a sick gall bladder.

I had to laugh though. My boss called me the other day to see how I was doing and ask me a question about the New York State quarterly sales tax return he was doing in my absence. Simon answered the phone. "Mom, it's for you. It sounds like work, probably checking up on this scam you're pulling!" Yes, he had his finger over the mouthpiece! When I kiddingly got on his case about it, he told me he had his finger over the mouthpiece extra hard, just in case.

Then, did you see Hilari's comment yesterday: Um, aren't you supposed to be in bed with your feet elevated or something? Moaning to loved ones about your suffering in tones so plaintive they appear every ten minutes to fluff your pillows and bring you tea?

That reminds me that I had decided to milk this situation for all I could - and I haven't been! Shame on me! :-)

I haven't, nor has anyone else, mentioned putting up the Christmas tree. I'm the only one who participates or seems to care and until today, I really haven't been in the Christmas spirit too much. Since I'm not sure how I'll be feeling next week, I don't want to put myself in the position of having to take it down either, so we shall have a tree-less year. Not all that uncommon, from people I talk to and stuff I read. But I come from a family of non-traditionalists who don't put a lot of emphasis on holidays, so it doesn't feel all that weird. I almost didn't put the tree up last year but then worried I was scarring Simon for life, so I did anyway.

For a person who tries to lead a guilt-free life, I don't sound all that successful, do I?