Let it Out

This was my night. Stopped at the store on the way home for flour I ended up not using. Had a minor mental breakdown. Made chili. Ate dinner. Read the paper. Made cookies to replace disaster cookies from yesterday. Posted an entry. Time to go to bed. Where does the time go, I ask you?

Oh, the breakdown? I'm a tad stressed about money, due to that one missing paycheck (covering 2 weeks) while I was sick. I'm fine financially - but it feels yucky & weird. I've covered my responsibilities. I'm living below my means. (Hi Dad!) Still, it stresses me out. I've told myself to chill the heck out (I'm doing all the right things, I'll get a paycheck next week, probably a support check for Simon and the disability check will come eventually). But today I decided I needed to release this stress. Steve always has a way of making me feel better so I picked him to unload on. He's used to it.

Stefani: Can I have a hug?

Steve: Sure? You okay?

Stefani (sobbing in that Laura Petrie/Oh Rob voice from The Dick Van Dyke Show): I'm just s-s-soo stressed about money! I hate feeling this way. I've been feeling this way for days and tried to control it but I could tell today that it was time to leak the stress out my eyes so let's just get this out of the way so I can go make dinner.

We laughed, I cried, Steve said all the right things and hugged me lots. I mostly feel better. There's no cure but just have to wait it out till the income rolls in again regularly. I just figured I should get that cry out of the way so it didn't leak out at work or something equally embarrassing.

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Speaking of embarrassing - I made peanut butter cookies last night for a work birthday. They oozed out super thin and look so stupid! They are just as moist and delicious as can be, which is weird, considering how thin they are. This is a new recipe I found online - and it doesn't call for baking powder, I don't know if that's the problem or what. I scraped them off the cookie sheets and wadded them into a plastic container. Guess we're stuck eating them, oh darn. Oh, I just thought of this! They are so thin and pliable, I bet I could roll them around a bit of ice cream or chocolate or something! Actually, I'm trying not to eat very many because they are full of butter and peanut butter - probably won't agree with me just yet.

So I made these no-bake cookies tonight. Did you know there's a Special Dark cocoa powder out now? It's probably been out for ages but I don't go through it very quickly so I just had an opportunity recently to purchase some. It was breathtakingly beautiful in the package when I opened it tonight.

This is Jen's recipe; I've probably posted it before but here it is again. So easy and so very delicious!

No-Bake Oatmeal Cookies

2 cups sugar

¼ cup cocoa

½ cup milk

¼ cup margarine

1 tsp vanilla

½ cup crunchy peanut butter

3-1/2 cups quick oatmeal

pinch salt

Mix sugar, cocoa, milk and margarine in saucepan. Cook until it boils. Cool for 1 minute.

Add vanilla, salt, peanut butter and oatmeal. Stir well.

Drop onto wax paper. Let set.

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The other part of my stress is how overloaded I am at work. Part of it's catching up from being out for 3 weeks; the other part is that's just how it is. I'm finding it motivating and depressing at the same time. The good news is tomorrow is an ESOP Communications Group meeting, of which I'm a member. Our company became an Employee Stock Ownership Plan company in 2004. I was sort of drafted onto this committee several months ago but I'm totally loving it. Or rather loving working with these people I should say. We're all on the same page and want to get things done. I missed the December meeting so I'm quite looking forward to tomorrow's meeting.

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Gretchen has a new entry up - I think you'll really like it. She now has a notify list too. Go join - you know you want to.