Tiny Spirelli

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3" x 3"
(click to enlarge)

One of my most favorite things to do is find new ways to use punches I own. Check out that center! That is the one and only Martha punch that I own. I bought it because I loved it but also because I was curious about the quality. I've been known to wear punches out. This one really is quite sturdy. Leave it to Martha. Anyway. Tonight I turned it into a little spirelli piece. Look how tiny it is and how close the threads are! Wow - I'll be making a lot more of those.

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I mentioned in the last entry that work has been sucky. This week has been one thing after another that I've done wrong. I can kinda sort justify each thing in my mind that these problems were either not totally my fault, or they are just mistakes. Shit happens. It doesn't mean I'm stupid. But I've been feeling quite stupid.

Then I opened today's Urban Word of the Day. You know I first read that as Stefani, in the example! I literally did a double take.

Urban Word of the Day
www.urbandictionary.com

October 18, 2007: jackass of all trades

A person who is exceptionally bad at everything.

Stefan is a dork. Give him anything to do and he'll screw it up. Jackass of all trades.

I probably would have burst into tears but I'd already gotten that out of the way first thing in the morning. I felt it coming on, went into the ladies room, then retreated to my friend Jen's office because she has a private office with a door. I told her I needed to hide out for a minute. We talked. I felt better.

I moved my massage appointment up by an hour just so I could get out of there. I took my new Bruce Springsteen CD in to play during my massage. I wasn't sure how that would work out but I thought it might be comforting to have my friend sing to me while I relaxed. It totally worked! That CD is absolutely fantastic. I've listened to it enough so that it's familiar but not so much that I'm bored with it. Even the upbeat tunes were fine for a massage. I wouldn't want it all the time, but today was good. Next week, I'm sure I'll go back to the generic "massage music" that Mary has in the CD player.

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I feel pretty normal tonight, back in balance, for which I'm relieved. I felt totally PMSy today, not something I'm used to anymore and I hated it. I gave myself a big fat pep talk on the drive home about getting my head back in the game at work. I don't feel like I'm unfocused but I'm sure I must be. I'm very aware that I am in the early middle of the craft show time of the year - what I've been working towards all year.

I think about how much I want to do this full-time but that's years away. If I'm working this hard now and continue to be more and more successful - how will I be able to keep doing both jobs well? How will I know when the right time is to jump ship on the day job and just do this? I listen to and read interviews with other artists. I read financial information. I plot and plan. That is what I think about ALL the time. That is why I'm not 100% focused at work, I think, because I don't want to be there. I want to be here in my studio, building my business.

I've mentioned this to a few people but I can't remember if I've posted about this before. Forgive me if I'm repeating myself. About 6 months ago I read an article by an entrepreneur who got me thinking about the day job in a new light. I had been resenting it, but this person was saying hang on to the day job as long as possible. That is what is giving me the freedom to work on building Pine Tree Designs. That's the word he or she used: freedom. That totally turned my thinking around.

I'm obviously struggling with that notion a bit right now, but I do believe it. I just need to remind myself of that mind set.

Oct 18, 9:00-6:00

Oct 19, 20, 9:00-4:00

MJ Inspirations 4th Annual Home Craft Sale

342 Pannell Road, Fairport, NY 14450

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