The Cousins

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Gretchen and her graduate son, Paul. The last of our boys has completed high school.

I was genuinely disappointed that I couldn't attend Paul's graduation ceremony because we thoughtlessly planned our vacation for that week. But Simon, Gershum and DJ went with Gretchen to the ceremony, which made Gretchen and me quite happy - not to mention Paul! That grin is so big it looks fake but I think it's real.

These are the boys that got me a little choked up the last time they came over, a couple of weeks ago. I hadn't seen Gershum and DJ in many months. These guys grew up together. Sometimes Gretchen's oldest son Nick, was the 5th member of the posse.

Gershum and especially DJ used to practically live at our house, for days & weeks at a time sometimes. This group of boys were often loud and always hungry. I used to laugh at how boys just get in each other's shit, trash talkin' - the whole bit. Girls, to my recollection, do that stuff behind each other's backs. They are much more sneaky and covert.

I have to say that they always did whatever Steve and I asked of them - we gave them chores. For instance, they unloaded the dishwasher with drill team precision. (Gershum always put the silverware away, I remember.) They ate us out of house and home - and we ran that dishwasher twice a day sometimes. They carried in groceries. They helped us move furniture.

They played basketball with Steve in the driveway.

Reggi still gets excited when she sees DJ. Not sure why but they definitely have a special bond - always have.

They joined us for Stahlman breakfast gatherings at the Log Cabin Restaurant - with my parents and Gretchen. We always ate at 8:30 on a Saturday or Sunday morning - and those boys actually got up that early to join us. Even now, my parents will ask, as we walk into the restaurant, "What? No Gershum & DJ today?"

They call each other cousins. They are the siblings that Simon always wished for. That fact alone makes me incredibly happy. Even though life turned out how it was supposed to - for the very best, I carry the usual mother guilt of divorce - and Simon being an only child. So these boys were sent to us. I love that.

These are the boys Gretchen and I took on vacation several times - 3 times, if I remember correctly. The two of us and 5 teenage boys. It sounded worse than it was. The 2nd time, we took Nick's now-wife, Jill, with us too. The last time, Nick was already in the Marines so it was just these 4 boys.

I remember when we first moved into this house 8 years ago. Life was hard sometimes. There was already plenty of adjusting going on between the 4 of us (Steve, Lizz, Simon and me), as you can imagine. I remember one time standing in the kitchen, crying, saying to Steve, "There are always so many kids here. It's too much. How come they all have single mothers at home living a quiet life - and we have all this noise and spend so much on food? I know some day I'll look back on these as the good ol' days, but I sure can't see it today. It's not fair."

I sure can see it today. I love these guys.

You can count on me getting a little teary seeing them all together after all these years. Throw in a big occasion like Nick's wedding or Paul's graduation or just showing up unexpectedly at our house with grins on their faces - and I'm a goner.

Wow. All I meant to do was post those photos and congratulate Paul (and Gretchen!) on a job well done. Where did all that come from??

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