Halloween Takes the Cake

These photos of cakes came to me in an email with the caption, "Would you eat any of these?" I consider myself not very squeamish but even I might have trouble with a couple of these. I put my 3 favorites at the top.

Enjoy! :-)

Thank Goodness It's Friday

Steve and I have both had busier and more stressful weeks than usual. It's everyone at our respective work places, not just us. He's been working late and I've been going into work early so on the phone yesterday I told him I'd have my people call his people and arrange a date for us sometime this weekend.

Thursday, November 12 - 1:00 PM-7:00 PM

Friday, November 13 - 10:00 AM-7:00 PM

Saturday, November 14 - 10:00 AM-4:00 PM

Not Your Usual Craft Sale

Brighton Town Park, Carmen Clark Lodge

777 Westfall Road, Rochester, NY 14620

(between South Clinton Avenue and East Henrietta Road)

I Love MS Office 2007

I knew there were tons of cool templates in the new Microsoft Office 2007 but I had never looked at the envelopes before tonight. How fun is this? It's a Halloween envelope, get it? (Ignore those two fruit stamps in the corner - I'm trying to use up some of the odd denominations I have.)

~ ~ ~

I took Reggi to get her stitches out tonight. She's the canine version of Norm on Cheers when she walks into the vets' office. All the front office women call out, "Reggi!"

This was the restitching that was done 2 weeks ago from taking the other stitches out too early, her healing being slowed down by the Prednisone. This was not our usual vet but another one we like a lot too. She's very funny. She was acting like she was nervous about taking these stitches out, lest the same thing happen again. "Oh well, I'm off tomorrow - Dr. Hines can just stitch her up again." She said "the girls" wanted to give Dr. Hines crap about taking the stitches out too early, but she told them not to, "That could be me some day - then I'd have to hear it from him!"

And she acted like she was hustling us out of there before Reggi's skin popped open again. But she was also telling Reggi, "You are so sweet, I love you Reggi. You are soo lovable." She tried to give Reggi a cat treat, which everyone knows are far tastier than some ol' dry Milkbone. Reggi will never accept a treat inside the vet's office. I said we'd take it "to-go" - and sure enough, I offered it to Reggi outside the building and she snarfed it up.

Reggi is so relaxed at the vet, I thought she was going to fall asleep waiting for the vet to come into the room. We didn't have to wait too long but I was wearing my sweatshirt jacket and getting a bit warm. Pretty soon, Reggi started panting. I was thinking, "Yep, here we are, a couple of overweight middle-aged females, hot flashing together!"

~ ~ ~

Steve worked late tonight and Simon is working too. So I planned to have a productive night in my studio but instead I read for a while, then messed around with the envelope templates and got stuck on Facebook for too long. Oh well. I think it was a good night to relax and unwind from a somewhat hellish day. Just one dang thing after another so you never feel like anything gets accomplished. I'm sure you know the feeling.

Thursday, November 12 - 1:00 PM-7:00 PM

Friday, November 13 - 10:00 AM-7:00 PM

Saturday, November 14 - 10:00 AM-4:00 PM

Not Your Usual Craft Sale

Brighton Town Park, Carmen Clark Lodge

777 Westfall Road, Rochester, NY 14620

(between South Clinton Avenue and East Henrietta Road)

Fancy That

A little something I'm working on. Not sure what I'll put in the center but this will probably end up a framed piece. I'm not sure anyone would buy a greeting card priced high enough to justify heavy stitching. Though my sign on the card spinners does suggest, "Suitable for Framing". And repeat customers tell me they do actually frame them, which warms my heart!

Thursday, November 12 - 1:00 PM-7:00 PM

Friday, November 13 - 10:00 AM-7:00 PM

Saturday, November 14 - 10:00 AM-4:00 PM

Not Your Usual Craft Sale

Brighton Town Park, Carmen Clark Lodge

777 Westfall Road, Rochester, NY 14620

(between South Clinton Avenue and East Henrietta Road)

Regretsy

I think Regretsy's tag line says it all:

Handmade? It looks like you made it with your feet.

And just like that hilarious People of Walmart site, the captions and comments make the photos even better. (Just now, I popped over to People of Walmart, skimmed a few entries to see what's new and I'm in tears laughing. At my desk on my lunch hour. Praying no one wanders by to witness this.)

This gorgeous paper clip necklace sold! At $5, it was such a good deal. (Note that sweater above is $198.)

"I'm sorry, I don't think it's funny to ridicule things that take so much time and effort to create. Do you know how long it took her to find just the right paper clip? And THEN she had to put a piece of thread through it!"

I clicked through to the real Etsy shops on some of the items and I'm happy to say that most of the people haven't sold much.

There's been some rumbling from time to time about some items of low quality on Etsy but I've never really seen any. Until now. Whoa.

Now I understand the appeal of 1000 Markets, which juries their sellers.

Neat & Tidy

Steve finished the Sports Illustrated Relocation Project. I bought 9 bins the other day, then we went to a different Lowe's yesterday and bought 4 more. He was able to fit 3 years per bin, but mama, those bins are heavy! I had envisioned them on some huge wood shelves we have but stacking them on this giant pallet proved much better, due to the weight. (I'm a little hinky about storing anything, even in plastic, directly on the basement floor, for fear of a malfunctioning water heater. Ask Mom and Dad about how much fun that is to deal with.)

Stefani: So what is Lizz going to do with all these Sports Illustrated when you die? Because I'll be long gone, unable to help her.

Steve: No, remember, we had a deal, I have to die first because I can't live without you.

(Insert sappy music here.)

Stefani: No, seriously.

Steve: I guess maybe she can sell them, at least the older issues.

Stefani: They're worth money?? Hell, let's sell them now! I want to go on a really nice, long vacation. On your dime! C'mon man!

Like I said before, they make him happy.

And the pool table is uncovered! The Buffalo Bills comforter (made by yours truly) that usually covers it, is in the washing machine at this moment. (We have a cat who pees on stuff, so for some wacky reason she was less inclined to pee on the comforter than the cover. I know some cats have a preference for hard surfaces, while others like soft surfaces, but our wack job (or is it whack job?) is an all-surface pee-er. I can't explain the comforter phenomenon. And after ages of trying to cope with this cat, whom we love dearly otherwise, she's now on chicken flavored "Prozac". It was either her or us, we told the vet.)

Note the shelves above the SI tote bins - largely bare. The rest of the room is still a work in progress - that's what I worked on while Steve boxed magazines. I Freecycled 2 TVs, a box of stamping magazines and some magazine file boxes. Oh - and a bunch of candy making supplies (molds for chocolates) that I had tons of responses for! I'm taking a bunch of small stuff to work to put on our Freecycle table there - it's easier. If stuff doesn't go there, I may toss it or bring it home and give it a go on the Freecycle list. I love Freecycle!

We also put stuff out to the curb that is mostly gone now, just some broken bamboo blinds remain and a (formerly) working vacuum cleaner. The guy who took the Hibachi, cut the electric cord off the vacuum cleaner and took just the cord! Two kitchen chairs and a quilt rack were taken under cover of darkness last night. I'm still amazed how long it takes people to take curbside stuff on this street. When I lived in the Village of Fairport, the stuff would barely be out of my hands and it was gone. But now we live on a rural road with not that much traffic. I'm always happy when stuff goes to a new home.

We have 3 blue recycle boxes full of cut up cardboard - and lots of Simon's high school work. Apparently, he is or at least was of the mind, when I ask him to clean his room, his solution is to dump everything in a plastic box and store it. Until Mom finds it and ditches everything. Problem (for him) solved. Kids.

That bed that's on it's side in the 2nd photo is one of the bunk beds that Lizz's grandmother bought her when we moved to this house. Our friend DJ is using one in his "room" in our basement. We've been at a loss where to store them - plus the mattresses, so when DJ moved in months ago, that solved half of the problem.

Now that Steve's mom has passed away, his sister will stay with us (half the time, the other half with their brother) when she comes back to visit so we're fixing up the 4th bedroom, which is tiny and closet-less, to be both my Pine Tree Designs gallery and her room. We'll make the bed kind of look like a day bed/couch. She has a bad back so she'll love the like newness of this mattress (second bunk, barely used). We'll have to cover it with something attractive when she's not here though; that area (now holding a futon) is one of Reggi's favorite spots to hang out in during the day, giving her a good view of the driveway. The black futon that's in there now is actually tri-colored, beagle-colored.

Of course, I didn't accomplish one tenth of what I intended to this weekend - but enough so I feel good. Ever since Simon moved back home last year and his stuff took over the basement, I've felt like things have been out of control. The phrases I use all the time are, "I'm taking our house back," and "This is not who we are, or how we live." Steve and I are both tidy and organized people so it kills us that our house is in disarray. You have to remember that when we moved here, we combined the contents from 2 two-person homes so we had a shitload of stuff at one point. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Just for a Week

If I could clone myself just for a week, I could get reasonably caught up, I swear. Thankfully, I'm feeling very motivated in all areas of my life in need of attention (not in order): day job, Pine Tree Designs, Stefani paperwork and basement re-org.

The basement re-org is an ongoing project that keeps getting put on hold for shows and well, life. But now we have 30 (?) years of Sports Illustrateds to deal with. Steve saves all of his WEEKLY Sports Illustrateds - for what I'm not exactly sure but it makes him happy. He still had some boxes at his mom's house, which he and his brother have been continuing to clean out.

Now those boxes cover our pool table, which annoys the cat no end, since that's one of her favorite spots to hang out. (The pool table is covered by a comforter which is over the pleather cover.) He said the other day that he was ready to take my suggestion of putting them in plastic boxes instead of cardboard. So I went to Lowe's the other day and bought all they had of the right size. I even took a Sports Illustrated (1978, Pete Rose on the cover) to measure.

So that's the Saturday morning project, after my 8:30 haircut. Steve can box them up, I'll print labels (of course!) and make room on the existing shelves for these boxes. I'm in a huge purging mood so that should be easy.

Every so often I've been taking stuff into work to put on our Freecycle table and that stuff is gone within the day, usually. Most recently was a perfectly good black plastic pot that held flowers from Wilma's funeral. I've taken some of Simon's old Disney videos. (I don't even care if someone is taking them and selling them on eBay, which I doubt they are - they're gone from our house.) Knick knacks, all gone. I'm going to take some books in today.

I do worry that I'm so not sentimental that I purge too much. I do save some stuff, as I talked about here. Love to purge. (Have you seen this TV show, Hoarders on A & E? Fascinating!)

~ ~ ~

I took my car to the dealer for an oil change and NY State Inspection yesterday - dropped it off the night before. The whole thing cost me $27.38 because the inspection was free. I used to take my Saturn to a Jiffy Lube type place and never got out of there for twice that. (And I said no to most of their suggested add-ons.) Say what you will about car dealers, they have really upped their game over the years in terms of customer service. This Toyota dealer just moved into a new building or newly remodeled building I guess it is - it's all so shiny and new. I told Steve it looks like the lobby of a swank Las Vegas hotel. I exaggerate, but it's nice! The waiting room is huge and offers a couple of big high def TVs, a little kitchenette area I think, comfy chairs and free wireless connectivity. I would not hesitate to take my car there for an oil change and wait.

~ ~ ~

So last weekend's craft show produced by the Jr League of Rochester was a success for me. I would have sworn my sales were higher than last year, but turns out I was down 15% from last year. That's still one of my more profitable shows and I definitely hope to do it again.

I had plenty to say on their vendor survey. Two things are my traditional complaints about any show: vendors who leave early and vendors who park in what I consider customer parking. Some jewelry vendors near me left 30 minutes early on Saturday and on Sunday, they started packing up an hour before the end of the show. I would just never do that. Ever. And I always park as far away from the building as possible. Each day, there was one other car next to me.

This show is billed as a Holiday Market, not a craft show. My guess is it's a 50/50 mix of hand crafted items and wholesale/resale items. I understand their rationale - it's a fundraiser and they want as big a show as they can. But I wish they were more selective.

Near me was a Billy Mays dude that had at least a double booth - filled 3/4 with cashmere scarves, which he ignored. The other 1/4 was a table full of colorful plastic cones used for removing snow from your windshield. He had a looping video showing how they worked. And he was selling the crap out of those things! Another vendor and I figured he must have been accepted at the show based on the scarves, then slipped in those ice scraper things.

I went in early on Sunday to have some time to look around. A vendor at the other end of the hall was selling packaged bedsheets! I think their hook was high thread count cheap sheets.

Call me a snob, but I'd like to see a higher end selection of product. That's the one comment I hear repeatedly about my work, "Wow - this is different; I've never seen anything like this." But bedsheets and ice scrapers? C'mon!

Oh - here's another one. I saw a print of a painting that I really liked and decided to buy but the artist wasn't in her booth, though her lights were on. I went back two more times and she still wasn't there - and the last time was 30 minutes after the show started! I decided she didn't deserve my business so she lost a $30 sale and I saved my money. (I did sneak back over to take a peak at her at the end of the day, so presumably she wasn't MIA earlier due to an emergency or something.)

On the other hand, I had at least two customers who asked me if I was a local artist because they like to buy local whenever possible. One woman told me that's a stipulation of the gift exchange between her extended family from around the country - all gifts must be created in their locale. That's cool!

And I reconnected with some vendor friends, which is always fun. I ran into a friend from high school I haven't seen in 35 years - loved seeing her!

In spite of these things, I think it's a good show and one I hope to do again.

The Show is Going Well

I had less of these pumpkin pins than I would have liked but I figured I could probably make it through this show. I have tons cut out, ready to be assembled. Then my first customer bought 5! I thought, "Uh-oh." When I got home last night and pulled out my box of pumpkin parts, I discovered about 20 that just needed pin backs and price tags. So I'm good to go now. I love these. Unfortunately I can't sell them on the Internet because it's from a purchased file for my Groove and that stipulation is within her Terms of Use.

The show is going well - not spectacular but I think spectacular is an unreasonable expectation in this still shaky economy. Still, here's the thing. I have a shoot-for-the-stars number in my head that I would like my sales to be this weekend. I have been concentrating on it throughout the show. During one slow period, I sat there stitching away and really concentrating on that number. Just then a customer who had already bought a couple of things came back to my booth and stood staring at my stand of Sticky Notes. I smiled at her, but hadn't said a word yet when she said, "Just a minute, I have an idea." Hand to head, she was thinking hard, I could tell. Then she said, "I'll buy 15 of these please."

Wow - this law of intention stuff works fast! :-)

Overall, I'm having a lot of fun. I'm seeing vendor friends and return customers plus meeting new people who have never seen my work before, which I love too. A customer told me about her volunteer work with our Seneca Park Zoo and how one of their biggest fundraisers is an event that in part, features arts and crafts from Madagascar. They are tossing around the idea of including local artists and would I be interested. Absolutely - sounds cool! So she took my card. She says the idea is in the beginning stages so who knows if and when, but I love new ideas and interesting venues.

I'm going in early this morning so I can check out the other vendors. Yesterday ended with rain but today is supposed to be partly sunny and almost 50. Plus there's a bridal show today in the other part of the building, just like last year - so the organizers funnel those participants our way. Meanwhile, I'll keep concentrating on "my number" and having a blast.

Saturday, October 17, 10:00-6:00

Sunday, October 18, 10:00-5:00

Junior League of Rochester Holiday Market

The Fair & Expo Center, 2695 East Henrietta Road, Rochester, NY 14467

Common-Law Marriage

Brenda mentioned common-law marriage after yesterday's post where I mentioned forgetting that I'm not married to Steve. I had looked it up a few years ago out of curiosity but I looked it up again yesterday, to see if I was remembering accurately. New York does not recognize common-law marriage for it's citizens but does recognize common-law marriages from other states that do.

It's the criteria that I found so interesting.

1. Ascertain if the state/country you are living in recognizes common-law marriages. Only a few states plus the District of Columbia recognize common-law marriages.

   Currently, common-law marriages are recognized by: Alabama, Colorado, Iowa, Kansas, Montana, Rhode Island, South Carolina, Texas, Utah, and Washington, D.C.

2. Generally, there are four requirements for a valid common-law marriage. Just living together isn't enough to validate a common-law marriage.
3. Requirement One:
   You must live together.
4. Requirement Two:
   You must present yourselves to others as a married couple. Some ways of doing this are by using the same last name, referring to one another as husband or wife, and filing a joint tax return.
5. Requirement Three:
   Although the time frame is not defined, you have to be together for a significant period of time.
6. Requirement Four:
   You must intend to be married.

Steve and I have Requirements 1 and 3 knocked out, assuming 16 years is considered significant. Oh wait, we've been together 16 years, only living together for 9. Since Requirement 3 is so vague, not sure about that one.

But my big question is - if you can satisfy all of those requirements, especially #4, why not just get married? (Or does #4 mean both parties have to want the common law marriage so someone isn't in the marriage against their will?)

I told Steve about the company I work for not recognizing significant others - his company does, and it's a major corporation. So I've decided to go all Norma Rae on this and do a little research and depending on what I find, write a suggestion that the company review their policy, citing the research. It's really not about my two bereavement days at all - I honestly feel it's the principle here. This is obviously a hot topic these days with gay couples so I'm sure I'll find lots to read. Interesting stuff, these changing times.

~ ~ ~

Steve and I set up my craft show booth last night - just the big stuff. I'll go there early this morning to set up my product. To me, the show looks much bigger than last time. Some vendors are hinky about doing a first-time show. Me, I like getting in the ground floor of something and I had a feeling this was going to be a well-run terrific show. I'm in a different spot which is unusual; most times a vendor is given their same spot again unless they ask to be changed. But I think the layout is totally different - and one could make the argument that changing the location of vendors can add interest to the show. I like my new spot just as well - I think it's going to be a good show. I'm very excited - doing a repeat indoor show feels like I've come home to the mother ship!

I just counted - there are 86 vendors. I'd have to pull my paperwork from last year but I bet there were 50ish last year. There are a good number of out of town vendors too - so you'll see stuff you've never seen before. I love that.

And off I go! Please stop by and say hi if you're in the area.

Saturday, October 17, 10:00-6:00

Sunday, October 18, 10:00-5:00

Junior League of Rochester Holiday Market

The Fair & Expo Center, 2695 East Henrietta Road, Rochester, NY 14467

I am Woman, Hear Me Roar

The colonoscopy was a breeze. Are you ready for this? I did it with no sedation! I didn't even know that was an option until today, did you? I have lots to do today including setting up for the weekend craft show so I asked, "I don't know if it works like this, but could I have as little sedation as reasonable?" They said absolutely, and that some people go without sedation at all. Really?? I said that's definitely what I want - let's go!

(I also said, "If you had wireless access here, this would make a great Facebook or Twitter update!" The nurse looked at me like I was more weird than funny (duh) but said, "We do have wireless..." My iTouch was in my purse but that idea seemed ridiculous, even to me. Though Gretchen and I got a lot of mileage out of the possibilities, including a photo of my colon.)

They said I could ask for sedation during the procedure if I wanted it. But if you think about it, there's really no pain involved. I felt a little pressure from the gas they inflate your colon with but that ain't nothin'. I watched the entire procedure on the screen, even the snipping of a tiny polyp. I could not take my eyes of the screen. It was fascinating!

I remembered later that I had my last dental scaling done without Novocaine. It was very do-able. I think I'm on to something here. I actually kind of dread the pain of Novocaine shots or the drowsiness of sedation way more than the procedure. I'm more like, let's do it and move on. Sweet!

Hint of the day: Blueberry Pomegranate G2 (like Gatorade) tastes great, even with the prep powder in it. Super sweet, even for me.

Yesterday, the day of clear liquids, I sent this email to Steve at lunch time, titled, "It's so not fair."

The vent on my Corning cup of broth was apparently open - and 3/4 of my broth spilled in my lunch bag. Hungry much? Nah, not me.

Good thing I brought 3 green Jell-Os - my least favorite flavor ever.

All for a good cause - I'm not complaining much.

He didn't reply right away so I figured he was out of the office doing something fun for lunch, but I never expected this:

Then, I won’t bore you with the details on the Bushnell’s Basin Pub Roast Beef on Kimmelwick rolls that Lisa provided for our all-day manager’s meeting. In addition, Lisa baked a cake for my birthday. Also, during our all-day meeting, I got called to my office for an important meeting…which turned out to be my team surprising me with Apple Pie & Apple Crisp.

But, because you are in Pre-Colonoscopy-Mode, I won't bore you with those details.

Harrumph, I say.

But I treated Gretchen and myself to breakfast at the Tip Top Diner after the procedure. By the way, the look on Gretchen's face when I walked into the waiting room, ready to go, was priceless! She had barely started her Starbucks coffee. She had just booted up her Netbook. She thought they could not do the procedure for some reason. Nope, I'm done - let's go eat! Even the other people in the waiting room were asking me about having no sedation.

Yeah, life is good.

~ ~ ~

I had a rude awakening when I went back to work on Tuesday. I asked my friend Jen, who runs HR, if I could change the previous Thursday and Friday from Paid Time Off to bereavement days. She said, "No, I'm sorry you can't. Those are for family and you're not family."

Now Jen is my good friend and I know she didn't mean it the way it came out. But it did hurt my feelings because you know how everything is personal with me. Also I was very embarrassed that I'd asked because I should have known better. Honestly, I think I forgot that Steve and I aren't married. I know, that's weird, right?

Then I started thinking this is how gay couples feel. You know how Brad & Angelina (reportedly) say they won't get married until everyone can get married? So now my stance is that until all gay couples and domestic partners have rights equal to those with a piece of paper, I don't want no stinkin' bereavement days. Ha! Guess I showed them, didn't I??

I'm just being silly but it really did bring the point home for me. I'm strongly in favor of allowing gay couples to marry. Not sure what the criteria would be for "domestic partners". Prove you live together, no matter how long? Food for thought.

Saturday, October 17, 10:00-6:00

Sunday, October 18, 10:00-5:00

Junior League of Rochester Holiday Market

The Fair & Expo Center, 2695 East Henrietta Road, Rochester, NY 14467

Poor Reggi

This card looks better in person because the thread is more vibrant. I hope.

Simon and I took Reggi to get her stitches out Tuesday night, which went without incident. Wednesday morning when I got out of the shower, I noticed a pink spot on her side, about the size of half of the palm of my hand. "Why is that pink piece of paper on Reggi and why doesn't she even notice?" I leaned in closer and one, maybe two layers of skin were gone and I was staring at pink muscle or tissue or something! It freaked me out big-time! It looked like someone took an oval cookie cutter and cut her skin away. It wasn't bleeding, didn't look like it had bled and Reggi seemed oblivious. It was the grossest thing I've ever seen (and we watch a lot of CSI!)

I woke Steve up, in tears. Wednesday was his last day off before going back to work so I said I'd call the vet as soon as they opened and could he please take her. He agreed, patted my head, there, there. Later when he woke up and saw what I was talking about, he said, "Holy shit!"

I thought maybe it was a hot spot, something I'd never even heard of until Simon started talking about them earlier this year. His dad's dog gets them. It's excessive licking by a dog, to the point of bare skin, due to reasons either physical or psychological in nature. I'd never seen one but consulting Dr. Google, I read they are fairly common. So I felt a bit better.

Steve took Reggi to the vet and it turns out her sutures had come loose - on the inner layers! How gross is that? And the reason it happened is because she's on Prednesone to shrink that unknown blob near her lungs. So Steve left her there so they could stitch her back up.

Simon picked her up in the afternoon and just before they brought her out to him, the tech noticed another of her stitched sites was starting to do the same thing. So the vet quickly closed that up with about 4 stitches - with no local numbing agent or anything. Reggi never flinched, the vet said.

So now we are leaving the stitches in for 18 days, way longer than usual. And reducing the Prednesone dose.

Can you believe how much this sweet dog has been through? She's such a trooper! She acts perfectly normal - because I guess this is her normal. I should take a photo of her with her funky haircut. They shaved even more to stitch up the big hole. She's our patchwork dog.

~ ~ ~

In other news, I'm having my "colon done" tomorrow - a colonoscopy! I just had some Jell-o for breakfast - whew, I'm stuffed - couldn't eat another bite! Mmmm. It's my second one so I already know the anticipation of the prep is worse than the prep itself. Gretchen is taking me because it will be Steve's 2nd day back at work after a week off for his mom's death. He is leaving work around 3:30 tomorrow to help me take stuff to the craft show, bless his heart.

I had requested the first appointment of the morning on any Friday so I was kind of happy that tomorrow was the day they offered me, which I had already scheduled off. I'll be home by 10:00 am and should be fine by the end of the day to take my stuff to the craft show venue. I'll stay & set everything up unless for some reason I'm not feeling up to it, I'll go early and do it in the morning.

Life will settle down some day, I'm sure of it. :-)

Saturday, October 17, 10:00-6:00

Sunday, October 18, 10:00-5:00

Junior League of Rochester Holiday Market

The Fair & Expo Center, 2695 East Henrietta Road, Rochester, NY 14467

Wilma

Wilma Read Comstock, 1927 - 2009

Steve's mom passed away last Thursday. The funeral was yesterday. I'm so tired, I could cry. Not sleepy tired - I slept 9-1/2 hours last night. Just emotionally tired to the bone.

My life has been so overflowing since I last posted an entry here 8 days ago. I took off from work last week to prep for the biggest craft show of my career, as I like to call it, at Letchworth Park - a huge 3-day, well-attended show. So the first part of the week was nose to the grindstone.

I hardly saw Steve at all because he went to the hospital every day after work, getting home around 11:00, when I was fast asleep. He didn't ask me to go with him until Wednesday. I had tickets to see the Rochester Broadway Theatre League's performance of The Color Purple with Lynn and Linda that night so I didn't go to that. (Lynn told me later they tried to sell my ticket for me. Can you picture 2 middle aged women trying to scalp a Color Purple ticket!?)

There was never any change in Wilma's condition and it seemed the end was near so Thursday morning, even before she passed away, I had emailed the show co-ordinator to see what my options are for withdrawing. I did not want to be fully set up at a craft show 90 minutes away if Wilma died. The co-ordinator replied that she was sure we could work something out - so we'll worry about this next week, after the show.

Steve's mom has been dealing with vascular dementia for the last year and a half or so. She eventually needed round the clock care so "the kids" (Steve and his brother and sister) set up 24/7 home health care. That was working out really well, though they also had applications for nursing homes for when that time came. In the end, everyone is pretty grateful the time for nursing home care never materialized. Her overall health decline happened pretty rapidly, especially at the end.

Steve's sister Barbara flew in from Colorado last Saturday, on a prior arranged trip. That was the same day Wilma's home health aides took her to Urgent Care because she was having trouble breathing. Urgent Care sent her to the hospital, for further assessment and treatment. She was admitted and eventually determined she had pneumonia in both lungs and some heart failure.

She just never got any better, really. I heard Barbara say her heart was working at 30%. She was on morphine to help with the pain. She was on forced air oxygen to breath - Wilma hated that mask (who wouldn't?). But on the few, short occasions they could take the mask off, she was smiling and saying I love you to her family. So that was nice.

But overall she was in a lot of pain and things were not going to get better. The family was called to the hospital Thursday morning. I asked Steve if he wanted me to go with him (he was at work) and he said no, let him see what's going on first. Shortly after he got there he called me to come so I flew up there. I wasn't in the room 5 minutes, when she passed away. I know she waited for me to get there, mostly so I could be there for Steve. I was so glad I could be there for him.

Later that day I went to Wilma's house to help get it ready for the reception to be held there after the funeral. I worked with Steve's sister-in-law, Sue and cousin Ann and we had a good time actually. I especially liked getting to know his cousin better - and not just because she owns a gift shop in Brevard, NC and placed a wholesale order for Sticky Notes and greeting cards. The house didn't need all that much work - the home health aids and cleaning service took good care of things on a regular basis.

Steve, Barbara and Dave made the funeral home arrangements and when they came back to the house we ordered pizza, beer and wine and then the fun really started. We watched old family movies, told stories, lots of laughing. Steve's Uncle Bill had driven up with the aforementioned Cousin Ann and tells great stories. He reminds me of my dad in the dry way he phrases things.

Friday was spent running errands. It was also Steve's birthday, which he and I had already agreed to celebrate later, between craft shows. His family felt way worse about the timing of his birthday than he did. Not only did his mother die the day before his birthday, his dad had died in a car accident 2 days after he was born, 53 years ago. Ann bought Steve a birthday cake so we went back over to Wilma's house for a short party. Everyone had food to prepare and remembrances to write, so no one stayed long.

The funeral was Saturday - very well attended, as we thought it would be. Wilma was a life-long teacher and a principal, so there were lots of teachers present, even former students. One man introduced himself to us being in Wilma's first grade class - and I think he was a little older than us. Childhood friends of Steve's and Dave's came, "kids from the neighborhood" - that was nice. A bunch of people who currently or formerly worked with Steve came. My sister came with my nephews and niece-in-law. My dad made chili for the reception. (Dad, it was all but gone by the end!) Mom house-sat during the funeral.

Steve, Dave and Barbara each spoke as did several other people, mostly relatives. In fact, the only non-relative who spoke was a woman who was a former colleague of Wilma's but her story was about how Wilma saved her son's life, as she put it. He was having lots of trouble in school until he was moved into Wilma's class and she got through to him. Lots of great stories. We laughed, we cried. Steve had me read his piece after he wrote it and I bawled my eyes out. (Mom and Dad - he said I could email it to you. You'll like it - get the hankies.)

Simon and DJ were pall bearers. Simon, of course, got a major kick out of driving in the funeral procession with a police escort allowing us to run red lights.

I know all of Steve's extended family from the annual Read family reunions held the day after Christmas each year. We haven't had them in a few years though. But they do feel like my family - they treat me like family. Steve and I have been together 16 years so I have no idea why I would still feel surprised by how nice they are to me and Simon. They are all super nice, very loving people. They remind me of my family - really, really love each other. They are nice to be around.

In fact, I decided in the shower this morning that from this day forth I'm going to start calling them my family. Like instead of saying Steve's sister-in-law, I'll say my sister-in-law or my cousin. Yeah, 16 years. I'm not real quick about stuff. Heck, Steve and I were "dating" for 7 years before we lived together. (Wilma always called me her daughter-in-law, by the way. And this week I've been calling her my mother-in-law.)

A bunch of the family members are at Wilma's this afternoon watching the Buffalo Bills game, but I needed a little Stefani Time. I envision my time being divided between sitting on the couch reading, cleaning up my studio and taking a nap with my furry friends.

Since I didn't do the craft show I had decided to go back to work Monday and Tuesday, but I feel so drained today that I decided to take tomorrow off after all. I hope I perk up soon - I like me better perky. I am getting a 60 minute massage tomorrow so that should turn my mojo around.

Yearbook Yourself

Do not click on Yearbook Yourself if you have important things to do, like prepare for a major craft show. And in case you want to waste time wherever you go, there's an app for that.


This is my 1952 lesbian look.


1962 - Homecoming Queen

1964 - Rockin' the teased hair with a half gallon of Aquanet.

1966 - Ohhhh Rob!


1970 - Channeling my inner black activist.

1978 - This is the year I graduated high school with Gretchen.

1982 - Hey Charlie - have you seen the other angels?

1988 - Marian the librarian. Shhhhh!

1992 - In case I ever wondered what I would look like with long nails. I haven't.

1996 - I should be so lucky to have hair this thick!

2000 - Wow, she's hot!